Thursday 27 January 2011

You too can be Sh!t @ Shunt!

Want to be in a Sh!t Theatre performance at SHUNT? 

All you have to do is webcam (that's right, "to webcam", it's a verb now) yourself singing along to Sh!t Theatre's 'Election Song'. Alternatively, use your clever phone or whatever video device you kids have these days. E-mail us the video ( or, if it's easier for you, upload it to Youtube and send us the link. 

Record and send by the 5th February at the latest, to be included in the SHUNT performance! The performance shall be part of 'AiR Supply @ SHUNT' on Friday 11th February!

Here is a link to a video of Sh!t Theatre performing the 'Election Song' on Youtube, for you to sing along with:

The lyrics are printed below:

Uncle David [Pause]

Uncle David, he’s related
To Queen Victoria
And TV historian Adam Hart Davis.
And in the recent expenses scandal it
Was revealed
That he spent
Two thousand five hundred and ninety four pounds on
‘Centrally purchased stationary’.
That’s fifth place in the country
For an MP [Pause]
On stationary.

He’s got one wife
Two kids
One dead kid.
Poor David.
Cerebral palsy
And epilepsy
Didn’t live very long sadly
Now Uncle David knows healthcare
Should be free.

Some things you learn from your father.
Some things you learn from your kids.
One point David.

Uncle Gordon [Pause]

He’s got one wife
Two kids
One dead kid.
‘How am I supposed to compare him with David?’
I hear you say,
‘When they have the same number of
Dead – kids?’

Well, he’s blind in one eye
And the kid that’s still alive
Has got a disability
So two-and-a-half points please.

Cystic fibrosis
Life expectancy is thirty-five.
He won’t get to do all those fun things like:
Be so drunk your sick on your parents head, or
Have sex in your parents’ bed, or…

…Or get a crush on your friend
But not say anything
Lest it disturb the
De-li-cate social balance.

Won’t be able to vote.
Won’t be able to vote Labour
Or get things wrong
Or get things right
Now Uncle Gordan knows the value of young life (/Or get things wrong)
Like how things should be a bit more easy (/Or get things right)
Like education for free.

Some things you learn from your father.
Some things you learn from your kids.
Two-and-a-half points Gordon.

Uncle Nick [Pause]

He’s got one wife
And three healthy children.
That’s why he’s the leader of the lib dems
And will never win
An election. [Pause]

Some things you learn from your father.
Some things you learn from your kids.
Your dead - kids.

Uncle Nick.
When he was a teen in Munich
He burnt a rare collection of cacti
But since he’s such a good guy
He hasn’t been arrested for arson since then
And now he’s the leader of the lib dems.

Becca: Louise, how many women has he slept with?
Louise: Erm, no more than thirty-four –
Becca: Before the age of twenty-four
Both: The Daily Mail call him
Thank god he doesn’t have a
Talking of Vaginas… [Pause]

Auntie Caroline.
No points for her
Because of her vagina…

Uncle Nick [Boo!]
Uncle Nick.
Educated in Suffolk.
One of only two boys at an all-girls school.
One eye,
One glass eye.
Nick Griffin’s father
Was the leader of the National Front
So he didn’t want any of
These! Or any of
These! Or any of
These! Who agrees? (/Or any of these)
Hands up please?
Yes, you. The young gentleman at the front with the tiny moustache…

Some things you learn from your
Massively racist, homophobic bigot of a father
Some things you learn from your kids.
Minus-one-million points Nick Griffin…

Some things you learn from your father.
Some things you learn from your kids.
That’s politics.

Have fun!

[By the way: the video is not an audition tape, it is footage that will be used in the Shunt performance. So make it as embarrassing as possible! Though what would be funny is if we made you audition to be in Sh!t Theatre. Like you desperately, desperately, wanna be us]

Sunday 23 January 2011

Self-fulfilling Sh!t

So you know how we think we're the funniest people ever? Well recently Lou watched back our performance from AiR Supply's 'Launch' and came to the harrowing conclusion that we were too drunk to be funny. So drunk, turns out, that we were shit. Not like, hilarious SH!T shit where everyone goes like, wow, those two cuties sure are cutting and talented, and my, don't they just have a certain charm. Not sh!t like that, just.. shit.

Well, no doubt our certain charm, especially my certain charm, renders all our performances somewhat successful, but we have decided for the sake of our unstoppable rise to fame, we will not get drunk before our shows anymore. Seriously.

So: FEBRUARY 11TH @ SHUNT come witness possibly the first ever sober Sh!T Theatre experience!

Tuesday 11 January 2011

Sh!t 2011

Sh!t Theatre welcome you all to 2011! Well done for making it this far.

Thanks to everyone who came along for NYE @ Shunt, we really enjoyed the cabaret & another brief experiment with performance in democracy ('Burqa King' was voted in by our live audience, which alleviates us of any responsibility for it). We also really enjoyed the burger queue where the second half of our performance took place. Ok, so there were slight technical hitches in the marquee related to people screaming louder than we could, but it was appreciative screaming and we appreciated the appreciation. Happy New Year!


You must be all on the edge of your seats! Well CALM DOWN!! Sh!t Theatre can be seen live and uncensored at:
AiR Supply at Shunt, February 11th (tbc). London, UK
We're back curating with AiR Supply in Shunt's bank room on the weekend of the 11th February. Confirmed performances by: Jen Smethurst, Anais Lalange, Priya Saujani, Tim Hopkins, and Sh!t Theatre. We have heard that our tribute band, Slick Theatre, also applied to perform. We would like to take this opportunity to again insist that we are in no way affiliated with Slick Theatre, though they as ever remain a loyal fanbase.

UCL Modo Fashion Show. March 4th and 5th. London. UK
Around the cloisters and quads of the uni, we will as ever be bringing our high fashion knowledge to the stage. Jokes, we'll probs just be dressed in burqas again. Performance art, fashion, beer and audience of 600, hurray!

Common Place. March 12th. Leeds, UK
We'll be all over Leeds like our reputation is on the internet. Zing! Told you we'd make it up in 2011. A day of noise, hardcore, politics, shoegaze and punk music/ ideas and some djing. SH!T UP NORTH 2011, go team!

Also I as in Becca will be performing 'What I know about wine so far' at The Roundhouse in Camden on Jan 18th for GETINTHEBACKOFTHEVAN's scratch night. Email for free tickets.

 Marquee @ Shunt NYE

 Cabaret @ Shunt NYE

Sh!t @ Shunt!

belated BED-IN PICS